I don’t always cope well with getting ill. As someone who likes to keep busy and always has multiple projects on the go, being forced to slow down by something as ‘inconvenient’ as my body needing a break can feel very frustrating. Even more frustrating though, is seeing the amount of pressure I heap upon myself exposed like this. When I’m struck by illness or injury and unable to work, I discover some real internal unkindness that’s always lurking in the depths, of a sort that I would never level at anyone else.
You guessed it, I did indeed catch covid, despite my best efforts to protect myself and others by wearing a mask and social distancing long after restrictions have been dropped here in England. I’m lucky: I am young(ish), in good physical health and vaccinated so I’m unlikely to experience long term effects of this illness, but my goodness it has been unpleasant. I spent the best part of two weeks in bed, cooped up with some favourite audiobooks and my knitting for comfort. During that time I was reflecting on my craft, and the impact of always having several projects on the go. I found, when I leaned into it, it was actually a delight to focus on just one thing for a while, the slow movement of stitches from one needle to the other.
I’m fondly calling this project my Covid Cardigan. Not because it’s a time of memories I want to treasure, but because it’s a tactile product of an act of self care. Knitting for me has always been about slowing down, which I sometimes forget in the excitement of new projects, new yarns and new techniques. At the root of my love for this craft is a desire to make pieces for my wardrobe that fit well, in terms of both form and aesthetic, and allow me to step away from the world of fast and disposable fashion. I also love how the slow process of a project evolving over weeks, months (or sometimes years!) imbues it with meaning and memory. Every row worked on this cardigan is a reminder of how important it is to allow myself to slow down. I know that I need such reminders, even when I’m not unwell.
As I’m starting to recover and return to work, this project is nearing completion. I’m hoping I can take some of this softening into slowness with me into the weeks ahead. I love the fact that when I have a finished cardigan, I will quite literally be able to clothe myself in that warm and gentle self care.
Alas, during my recuperation I spent very little time on my beloved Dartmoor, but a fair bit in the sunshine of my own garden. I was ill during the most spectacular spell of summer weather and enjoyed watching the insects delight in our flowers. My favourite was a visit from a hummingbird hawk-moth.
Back in the studio, I’ve recorded a little video about my Covid Cardigan which covers the details of my yarn choices and pattern. There’s also a beautiful walk on the moors with Jack, recorded before I got sick, which I very much enjoyed revisiting during the editing. This video is on Patreon already, and will be out on YouTube later this week.
Thank you for reading, and I wish you some gentle moments of self care through your own hand work this week.
Katie (and Jack) :)
Hello, I am sorry to read that you have caught this virus, which brings so much anxiety. You have knew how to give yourself comfort with this beautiful cardigan (the detail of armholes is very adorable). And I understand this unkindness when I am not in the top of my physical form and my mental form. It's like a disappointment, a failure in the face of the frantic pace of the world and of society, as if I was on the sidelines, as if I couldn't keep up. Your good words make us think about why we do these slow activities: certainly to be in an alternative flow, calming and just for yourself and to be yourself. And it's good, and restorative.
Thanks Katie
So very sorry to hear that you were caught by that nasty Covid virus, Katie, but happy to hear you coped well with the enforced down time. Delightful looking cardigan and, Jack, of course is his usual handsome self! Keep yourself well!